Valentine’s Day is that special day when people traditionally display their love for one another. We want to present our partner with something unique that somehow sets this day apart from others during the year. However, I would like to suggest that we give time and attention to our relationships throughout the year, and not just on this one day.

Relationships need to be nurtured and cared for on a daily basis. When I hear people saying that "relationships are hard work," I don’t believe this. Caring for a relationship on a daily basis really involves four key steps that each of us can, with ease, practice. By practicing these steps, relationships will not be ‘hard work" but rather a joy and pleasure to be a part of. Here are the four steps:

1. Practice mutual respect and mutual support. Your behavior needs to say you are the most important person in my life and I treasure your presence in my world.
2. Focus on the "being"" together rather than the "doing" together. Set aside 15 minutes a day to just ‘be" together talking about your day and your own thoughts and feelings. Do not schedule a "doing" activity at this time.
3. Increase "touching" on a daily basis. "Touching" here does not mean "sexual" activity but rather it means giving hug, a pat on the shoulder or taking your partner’s hand unexpectedly. Increased touching equals greater emotional intimacy.
4. Make one night a week "date" night. Set aside this time to do something together just the two of you. It is amazing how making "our" relationship a priority seems so difficult. One week, one partner plans the activity and the next week, the other partner. The activity is less important than the hours dedicated to the connecting.

Healthy relationships are not all that complicated if we take a few minutes to think about what makes us feel good and then we give similar behaviors back to our partners. With both partners practicing these four steps, the quality of your relationship will improve dramatically. Good Luck, and let me know how you do.